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The Tranquilities Series for Stress is based on the premise that the beginning and root cause of all stress can be traced back to what we will call a sorrow.
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A sorrow includes grief and loss issues such as; losing things we had, never receiving things we anticipated, traumas, setbacks and disappointments. This sorrow can make us feel incomplete, as if we do not have everything we need to be whole and successful. At its most severe case, we lose the will to go on if the loss is severe enough.
A few examples of losing things we had would include:
- Death of loved ones
- Divorce
- Job Loss
- Business setbacks or failures
- Career or school setbacks
- Failed relationships
Examples of never receiving things we anticipated could include things such as;
- As a child, insufficient parental support from either parent due to death, separation, divorce, inability to parent properly, etc.
- Infertility
- Never finding satisfying relationships
- Inability to further your education
- Disappointments for missed opportunities in school, career, business or personal life
- Not meeting our personal, spiritual, financial or career expectation, etc
- School, work or relationships not being as you expected or anticipated, being disappointed in the situation.
Examples of trauma
- Victim of physical, sexual, verbal or emotional abuse
- Victim of a crime
- Serious accidents, injuries or illness
- Witnessing violent death and destruction, etc.
Examples of Setbacks and Disappointments
- Failures or setbacks in school, career, business or personal relationships
- Disappointments and betrayals of friends, family or others
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As a direct result of sorrow, we experience fear. This fear can take on the form of:
- Fear of experiencing a similar or another loss
- Fear of being accepted by others due to our perceived deficiencies or inadequacies,
- Fear of being harmed again in some way
- Fear of being unable to live up to what is expected or demanded of us.
If the fear continues to grow, we can have many additional fears, including irrational ones as well. A good example would be a failed relationship. We may grieve the loss of the failed relationship, and then, have fear of trying again, out of fear the same result will happen. Another example is if you experience a business, school or career failure. After experiencing it once, there is a strong fear that it may happen again. This fear keeps you from trying again.
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Because of our sorrow and fear, we become resentful and angry. This anger can be directed to other family members or others we meet or the world in general. Some individuals become mad at God. Or, if it's unacceptable to vent the anger, it may be turned inward, experiencing it as feeling down or depressed. If left unresolved, this anger can ruin relationships, careers, marriages, business opportunities and your health.
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In the fourth step of stress, all of these previous feelings lower your sense of self-worth and self-esteem. At this point, your motivation and drive to try new things may decrease, as you have less and less confidence in your abilities.
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Finally, you begin to worry and over think, possibly creating feelings of anxiety. You may worry about another sorrow issue occurring, but can expand into worrying about many things. As your mind fills with worry, your ability to perform tasks, interact with others, study and sleep decreases.
If left unchecked, this pattern may continue into a downward spiral, with each new sorrow creating more fear, more anger or depression, lower self-esteem and more worry and anxiety.
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Tranquilities can teach you how to stop this pattern by helping you view you situation in a new way.
The Five CDs in the Tranquilities Series correspond to these five emotions, supporting and restoring on all five components of your stress.
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