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"How to Permanently Conquer
Stress in Your Life"

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Lesson #1: Understanding How You Experience Stress!

I'm Bob Miller ND, one of the creators of the Tranquilities program of stress management. Over the next seven lessons, I'm going to share with you the SECRETS to Conquering Stress that I researched and discovered over the last five years, so you can reap the benefits in your life.

Look, stress may be one of the biggest challenges you are facing today. Stress is ruining health, destroying relationships, careers, businesses, marriages and is a significant factor in anger, depression, abuse, and addictions of all kinds.

In today's lesson, you will gain incredible new insights into stress. This is very powerful information that will improve every part of your life. You will learn:

  • Which kinds of life events create stress for you.
  • How these life events create stress for you
  • The Five Emotions you experience when you are stressed
  • The exact and precise order in which you experience these five emotions
  • The easy steps and new thought processes you can learn that will effectively neutralize the stress and give you a new level of self-confidence and self-esteem.

When you are stressed, you are more likely to have accidents, miss opportunities, make mistakes and take actions that you may later regret.

Here's just a few ways that Stress may be impacting you ?

  • Do you have any idea how much you are missing in life due to the stress you experience as a result of fear?

  • Does fear of failure or criticism keep you in a state of stress that prevents you from doing things that are to your benefit?

  • Did you ever realize how the stress that is a result of anger, guilt, shame or depressing thoughts is negatively impacting your life?

  • How has the stress of low self-esteem kept you from having all you deserve?

  • Do you spend needless hours worrying rather than enjoying life?

  • Do you ever wonder if stress is contributing to a faster aging process or making you sick?

Why You Need to Learn These Powerful Techniques

When you learn to control stress, virtually every part of your life may improve. You may note significant improvements in your:

  • Personal or family relationships
  • Success in school, business or career
  • Overall sense of well being
  • Energy Levels
  • Health

 

When you are stressed;

  • You may feel anxious
  • You may perspire
  • Your heart may pound
  • You may feel overwhelmed
  • You may be angry or depressed
  • You can't think straight or maybe can't remember things.
  • You may have a knot in your stomach
  • You may fear that something bad is about to happen
  • You may lash out in anger
  • You may use drugs, alcohol or other addictive behaviors, so you can escape, if even temporarily, from stressful feelings.
  • You may feel depressed, guilty or shameful

It Doesn't Have to Be This Way!
You can Take Control!

By the time you complete these seven lessons, you will have a thorough understanding of the events that cause you stress, the specific emotions they create in you and then, how you can easily take control by learning five simple, but yet profound principles.

Let's Begin Our Journey and Learn.......

The Anatomy of Stress

When you are stressed, you know that you don't feel good. But often times, we are unsure as to "what" you are feeling. Let me show you exactly how you experience what we call "stress". You see, stress is a combination of up to five emotions; feelings of;

  • Grieving, sorrow or loss
  • Fears
  • Anger (in its many forms)
  • Lowered Self-Esteem
  • Worry or Over thinking

Let me explain.......

"Sorrow Issues" is Where it All Begins

The first event that begins the stress process is what I call sorrow issues. "Sorrow Issues" include the following life events or challenges;

  • Losses, such as death of loved ones, broken friendships or relationships, financial losses, etc.
  • Trauma or traumatic life events
  • Setbacks, when life takes an unexpected turn.
  • Disappointments, such as when friends or family let us down, or something we were expecting doesn't materialize.
  • Unmet needs and expectations
  • Too much being demanded of us
  • Not enough resources (time, energy, money) to meet what is needed
  • Life not meeting your expectations.

Clearly, this covers a lot of territory and runs the gamut from snarled traffic that is making you late or someone being critical of you to the diagnosis of illness or serious life setbacks or disappointments, and everything in-between. Some sorrow issues are minor and affect us for only minutes, while others affect us for days or weeks. Some sorrow issues are life-altering.

When these sorrow issues occur, whether they are insignificant and fleeting or life changing, to some degree, we experience a sense of loss and feel it as grief. We feel as though something that we had was taken from us, too much is demanded of us, something we should have is unavailable or we were treated unfairly or victimized. In your next lesson, we will cover this subject in depth.

Sorrow Creates Fear

Next, this loss and sense of grieving turns into fear.

In lesson #3, we will examine fears in greater detail, including fears of rejection, fears of being criticized, and fears of failure.

Fear Creates Anger ! !

After you experience fear, the next emotion is anger. Anger is an interesting emotion, as we can experience it in several ways. Of course, the typical thought you may have when I mention anger is someone who is shouting, acting aggressively or trying to hurt others due to their anger. However, you can experience anger in many other ways.

If the anger is towards yourself, you can experience it as;

  • Guilt
  • Shame or
  • Depressing thoughts
  • If you believe it is unacceptable or you just cannot show your anger, you may turn the anger inward as depression.

    • Self-Esteem is Lowered

    After the anger, our sense of self-esteem and self-worth is usually impacted in some way. If the sorrow issues revolve around others being critical or personal failures, the self-esteem and self-worth issues can be even more significant. In lesson #5 of this course, we will devote the entire session to how sorrow issues impact your self-worth and self-esteem.

    We Begin to Worry

    Finally, after the feelings of grieving, fears, anger and lowered self-esteem, we begin to worry and over-think. And why not, after all we just went through? You may find yourself worrying about what will happen next, how you may be harmed, what may happen to others, or what else can go wrong. Or, you may find yourself replaying the events of the past over and over again or replaying possible future events. This worry can make you sick.

    Worry keeps you preoccupied and in reality, may actually increase the probability of what you are worried about happening. We will talk about this in detail in lesson #6.

    OK, there you have it. The five emotions you experience create feelings of being stressed. When you are stressed-out, you may be feeling any one or all five of these emotions, grieving and loss, fears, anger (in its many forms), lowered self-esteem and worry. No wonder we try to avoid or escape from stress.

    Before You Learn the Solution.....

    I'd like you to do a little exercise and examine how a life sorrow you experienced created these five emotions in you. Below, you will find a form that will help you identify how you experienced the five emotions of a sorrow issue.

    I'd like to hear how you experienced the five emotions.

    Just fill in the form below and e-mail to stressresearch@tranquilities.com. I don't keep any personal information and strip the information from any e-mail address. You can copy and paste this part of the lesson and put your answers in.

    Stress Form

    Bob, Here's how I experienced the five emotions with my specific life challenge:

    My sorrow issue was ____________ (examples: divorce, loss of loved one, job loss, traumatic event, lack of parental nurturing, too much demanded, not enough resources, physical or verbal abuse, etc.)

    The fear I experienced was ______________ (describe: Examples would be fear this would happen again, fear of rejection, fear of criticism, fear of failure, etc.)

    The kind of anger I experienced was _______________ (describe: examples might be anger at others, the world, at God, shame, guilt, bitterness, cynical, depressing thoughts).

    This impacted my self-esteem in the following way: ____________________ (examples would be: felt inferior, stupid, unworthy, dirty, unwanted, used, taken advantage of, victimized, etc.)

    The created worry for me in the following way(s): ______________________ (Examples: worry that it will happen again, kept replaying it in my mind, projecting this worry onto other situations, created anxiety, etc.)

    This has negatively impacted my life by _____________________.

    Thanks for your feedback and participation! Feel free to send in more than one if you desire.

    Now....The Solution!

    So you may be asking, what's the solution? Well, here it is. Of course, you often can't change the sorrow issues in your life. However, you can change how you respond and react to them!

    Let me say that again. You may not be able to prevent the sorrow issues of life, but you CAN change how you respond to them.

    Did you ever notice that two people may experience the same thing; and one takes it in stride, doesn't let it bother them, while someone else falls apart, over reacts or becomes angry or depressed?

    So, let's Learn:

    • How you learn to be the person who takes setbacks in stride and moves through them
    • How you can have all the courage you need to do anything you want to do
    • Have the courage you need to never feel intimidated by anyone again
    • How you can have the courage to never fear failure or setbacks
    • How you can release anger, guilt, shame, depressing thoughts
    • How you can restore your self-esteem
    • How you can stop the endless cycle of worry and over thinking.

    The Secret Revealed - Cognitive Restructuring

    To reduce stress, build your courage and self-esteem and release worry and anger, you need to learn what is called cognitive restructuring. It's a big word, but rather easy to understand. Cognitive means the way you think and restructuring means to change or restructure your thought process. In other words, view the situation in a new way. Let's take each emotion you experience with a stressful situation and examine the cognitive restructuring needed.

    In the next five lessons you receive, we will discuss each of these in greater detail, so you have all the knowledge you need to finally conquer stress

    Secret # 1 You Are Complete and Whole In Mind and Spirit, Despite the Sorrow Issues in Life

    In regards to the first feelings of the sorrow issue which is grieving and loss, (lost something or don't have enough of something) you probably feel as though part of you is missing, or the things you needed to have or need to receive are missing. You feel incomplete without it. Now here's where the cognitive restructuring comes into play. You need to learn on a very deep level, somtimes defined as the subconscious mind, that "Despite this loss, you are still complete and whole in mind and spirit."

    I can't over emphasize enough the importance of this statement, and then believing it. Look, if you spend your life believing you are incomplete or don't have all you need or should have, you forever will be stalled and held back in life. Now you may be thinking, that sounds good in theory, but how can I learn and know that. Stick with me, I'll get to that a little later, the actual process of how you change your thinking. You will be surprised how easy it actually is.

    Secret # 2 - I am Courageous and Victorious

    As you now know, the next emotion is fear. I like to tell people that F-E-A-R is just "False Evidence Appearing Real". In other words, fear is created in your mind and your mind can conquer that fear. Now clearly, some fear is good, the fear you experience if you see a car coming for you springs you into the kind of action you need to avoid harm. Fear is a primal emotion that can save your life. Unfortunately, it's a two edged sword, as you brain sometimes records and remembers too many fears that paralyze you and hold you back from reaching your full potential.

    So the next thing you need to learn is that "You are courageous and victorious". You have all the courage you need to do what you fear.

    Here's why:

    You need to learn that if what you fear actually happens, you are still safe, secure and OK with yourself and who you are. Even when your worst fears happen, your self-esteem can stay intact. You are not defined by what others think, whether others like or dislike you, or even if what you try fails.

    You see, we are many times afraid that we are failures if a project fails, someone rejects us or we don't accomplish what we had hoped to. We'll discuss this in much more detail in lesson # 3. You will have all the courage you need when you learn that failure or rejection doesn't impact who you are.

    Secret # 3 - Release Anger and Forgive

    Next, to conquer stress, you need to learn to release anger and; here's the big one...forgive. Yes, forgive. Now I know what you may be thinking, I don't think I can ever forgive __________ for __________. This is a typical response. We will discuss this in more detail in lesson # 4.

    Secret # 4 - Learn You are Worthy and Value

    Next, you need to learn that "I am Worthy". You need to learn that no matter what your parents said or did or didn't do, what your friends or family said or did to you, no matter what traumatic events you have had, you are valuable and worthy. Why??...from my perspective, we are all made in God's image and likeness and have worth and value, just because you were born into this world.

    Your value doesn't depend on how much money you have, your education, your job, status or anything else. You have value and worth!

    Secret # 5 - Learn to Be Peaceful and Calm

    Now finally, the last step is to learn how to release worry. The cognitive restructuring needed is to learn that "I am Peaceful & Calm". When you learn this principle, when you feel worry or anxiety starting, you just do the simple exercise we teach you with Tranquilities For Persons Experiencing Stress, and as you do this, worry and anxiety melts away.

    How Do You Learn These Five Principles?

    You may be thinking by now, this sounds great Bob, but how do I begin to learn and put these life changing principles into my life so I can reduce stress and do all the things I want in life? Actually, its very simple and very easy. There is just three steps for each of the five emotions that you will learn in the following lessons:

    • Understand how a sorrow issue created each emotion
    • Begin to think and imagine how you will feel and act differently when you have conquered and overcome the negative emotion
    • Use guided imagery to release the negative emotion and permanently replace it with a positive one.

     

    Tranquilities for Persons Experiencing Stress

    I will explain in Lesson # 7 how the five CDs and five aromatherapy blends in Tranquilities for Persons Experiencing Stress combines guided imagery, your personal faith if desired, environmental sounds, music therapy and aromatherapy to easily teach you :

    • How you can feel complete and whole in mind and spirit despite the sorrow issues in life.
    • How to conquer every fear, such as fear of failure, rejection and criticism.
    • How to release anger at others or self, and let go of guilt, shame or depressing thoughts.
    • How to restore you self-esteem and self-worth that may have been damaged by hurtful life events.
    • How to stop worry in its tracks.

    Learning how to beat stress, feel good about yourself, move past your fears and stop worry has never been easier !

    Tranquilities for Persons Experiencing Stress is five CDs of guided imagery that systematically teaches you these five principles.

    Learning and implementing these principles in the past may taken years and cost thousands of dollars.

    Now with Tranquilities, in about six weeks, you can learn these principles while you relax in a chair, listening to the CDs

    If you want to start putting Tranquilities to use right away, you can order online or print an order form that you can mail or fax to us. The five CDs and five aromatherapy oils are only $49.95

    Click Here to Purchase With Secure Online Ordering
    Click Here to Order By Phone, Fax or Mail

    In Lesson #2 , we will begin the process of going through each emotion in detail. You will learn more about sorrow issues and how they create stress and impact you.

    For Your Health and Well being,

    Robert Miller ND

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    rmiller@tranquilities.com