I define sorrow issues as:

• Losses
• Setbacks
• Traumatic events
• Disappointments
• Unmet needs and expectations
• Not having or receiving those things in life we thought we should have.
• Too much being demanded of us
• The demands placed upon you exceeding our perceived abilities or resources.

These sorrows can be very small and insignificant, their impact lasting minutes, or can be moderately severe and affect you for days or weeks, or very significant and impact you for a lifetime.

It's easy to reduce stress, build your courage and self-confidence and stop worry. Just follow these three easy steps for each of the five emotions of stress:

• Step # 1 Identify how the sorrow issues of life create this negative, stressful emotion.
• Step # 2 Explore how you will feel and act when you have replaced the negative emotion with a positive one
• Step # 3 Use Guided Imagery to teach your subconscious mind the new positive way of thinking, feeling and acting.

Understanding Sorrow Issues

In today's lesson you are going to learn about the different types of sorrow issues that are the root cause of your stress. We will go though each category of sorrow issues and help you discover them.

What I mean by disappointments is when you were expecting a specific outcome and things didn't quite go as you expected.

Say for example, as a child, you went out for a sporting team, thinking you were qualified, and were very disappointed when you found that you weren't chosen. Likewise, it could include being cut from the team. Or, as an adult, you expect a promotion or a raise, and it didn't turn out as expected. In personal relationships, it's when someone disappoints you, lets you down or doesn't meet your expectations. This can be friends, family, co-workers and casual acquaintances.

The disappointments can be from this week, last year or 20 years ago. Concentrate on disappointments that impacted you moderately to severely.

You May have Experienced Some.....

Setbacks are similar to disappointments, but for purposes of this course, we will define them as when life was going along a path as expected, and then for some reason, you receive a setback.

This can include accidents, illness, failures in school or work, business setbacks, a significant other or spouse who terminates a relationship or is creating problems in the relationship, financial losses, or significant changes in living conditions. In can be relatives or children getting in trouble or creating problems or even your stock portfolio losing a significant amount of money.

You May Experience.....

Once again, this is a broad category. For some people, they found their childhood less than ideal if parents did not provide the nurturing and care they needed. The use of alcohol and drugs by parents, or being too consumed with work, household demands or other family members needing help, leaves many individuals feeling as though they did not receive all the nurturing and care they should of as a child. For those who experienced physical, verbal or sexual abuse, the feelings of needs not being met are significant

In school, career and business, these feelings can exist as well. It's common for both husbands and wives to feel they are not having their particular needs met. Clearly, with the divorce rate nearing 50%, this is a significant problem.

In today's stressful world, this is a fairly common complaint. One definition of stress is that we experience stress when the perceived demands exceed our time, abilities or resources.

You may feel as though you can never get everything done or have enough financial resources to cover your obligations.

A Serious Cause of Sorrow Issues is......

Traumatic life events would include:

• Serious accidents
• Serious illness
• Serious things happening to family members
• Divorce
• Floods, fires, etc.

Then, There Are.....

In this category, I would include the death of loved ones, unless you already listed them in traumatic life events.

This category could also include significant failures, job losses, financial losses, loss of friends, or times you may have been rejected or ridiculed. It can also include when friends or loved ones significantly disappoint you. In case there is anything else missing that you would consider a "sorrow issue", you can now include them as well.

Now Lets Move on to Step # 2....

The goal of today's lesson is to recognize the sorrow issues of your life, and help you learn an important principle;

This is very significant, and the core of today's lesson, so I will say it again; In mind and spirit, you are complete and whole despite the sorrow issues you have experienced in life.

If you want to include your faith in your work, think of it this way: With God's help, I am complete and whole despite the sorrow issues I have experienced in life.

Learning this important principle is the beginning step of permanently conquering stress.

As we discussed in lesson # 1, Cognitive Restructuring is learning new ways of thinking about a situation. If you believe you are less than whole, your thoughts and actions will be accordingly. However, when you accomplish the cognitive restructuring and learn you are still complete and whole despite the sorrow issues, you will think, act and behave in the new positive way.

If you are making a piece of clothing, you may look at catalogs or see examples. If you are building a house or a room addition, you first get somewhat of an idea as to what the FINISHED product will look like. Then you go about making blueprints, patterns, getting the materials or tools and then go about creating the finished product.

However, it always starts with a thought about the finished product. So thats what we are going to do now, start thinking about what your life will be like after you have done the cognitive restructuring. Its fun, easy and exciting.

Here's all you have to do. For some or all of the sorrow issues you identified, ask yourself and answer the following questions. You can do this in your head, or write it down .

Let's Get Started With.....

How would you feel, if in mind and spirit, you were complete and whole and fully restored, despite the sorrow issue of __________ ? (this comes from your list of sorrows).

What I am asking here, is for you to sit back for a moment and just "pretend" that if you did feel complete and whole, despite this sorrow issue, what would that feel like to you. There is no right or wrong answer. Just speculate and think about or write down what comes to you. If the sorrow issue is too deep and you can't even imagine that, it's OK. This happens and is normal. Just go on to a less significant sorrow issue. Don't give up if this happens!!!

How would you act differently, or how would your life improve, if you felt complete and whole, despite this sorrow issue?

Think about this a bit, "pretend" you felt complete and whole, and let your mind wander as to how you would act or how life would change. Write these reaction or response down if you are taking notes.

How would it feel if you acted and behaved in the way you just described above? Here again, "pretend" and "imagine" you were acting and behaving as you described above. How would this feel? If you can't go there yet, that's OK. Your answer may be a paragraph long or just "great", or "freeing" or "peaceful".

Repeat this for your entire list of sorrow issues. Clearly, if many sorrow issues are similar, feel free to reference previous ones you have already done.

As you do this exercise, "imagining" or "pretending" you feel complete and whole, and "imagining" or "pretending" to see how you would act, behave and feel, something very powerful starts to happen in your subconscious mind that I'm not sure I can explain. Pioneers in mind/body work such as Norman Vincent Peale said something to this effect; "What the mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve."

You have now made some mental pictures in your mind as to what the end result will be. When we make or build something, after drawing the blueprint or knowing in your mind what you want as the end result, you go about collecting the materials and doing the work to make your thoughts a reality.

To help you get to where you want to be, the next step is to perform mental guided imagery, that simply and easily "teaches" you these new ways of thinking. It's for this reason, that we created five CD set called Tranquilities for Persons Experiencing Stress

The first CD in the set is the Restoration CD. It is used with the Restoration aromatherapy oil blend to work together to help you create the mental images that teach you that you are complete and whole despite life sorrow issues.

In Lesson Seven, I will explain in full detail what Guided Imagery is, how it works, and how you can use it to create new positive ways of thinking, but here's a brief overview of how the Restoration CD and Restoration aromatherapy blend easily guides you into learning you are complete and whole despite your sorrow issues:

• Rest comfortably with head phones and close your eyes as you listen to the CD
• Rev. Donna Shenk and myself will be speaking on the CD, and will guide you into a state of relaxation though breathing and relaxing your muscles. Soft music and the sounds of chimes in the wind will help you deeply relax.
• We will guide you into making a mental picture or metaphor of your sorrow issue
• We will gently guide you into picturing and imagining the mental picture that you created changing. (I will explain this process in detail in lesson #7)
• You will be instructed to say affirmations and smell the aromatherapy oil
• You will be told to open your eyes, feeling better than you have all day.

This entire process only takes about 20 minutes. It may sound simplistic, but it is a very powerful technique that will gently help you understand new, positive ways of thinking.

I believe that guided imagery is the easiest, most effective, and fastest way to learn these important principles that will change your life. Learning how to beat stress, feel good about yourself, move past your fears and stop worry has never been this easy.

You now learned how sorrow issues are the root cause of stress and how you can learn new ways of viewing them. I trust over the following days and week, you will begin to understand on a very deep subconscious level, that you can feel complete and whole, no matter what sorrow issues you may have experienced.

Learning to view sorrow issues in a new way is your first step in permanently conquering stress !

In lesson # 3, we will begin the process of discovering how sorrow issues create fear, and how you can build your courage and conquer fear.

For Your Health and Well Being,

Robert Miller ND

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